Political Power

Credentials of a Politican in Lebanon

1. Must be a good liar
2. Must be a good actor
3. Must dress well coordinating suit, tie, belt and shoes
4. Must know reporters names and who they are affiliated with
5. Must make time to attend work at parliament at least once a year
6. Must read the obituaries page on a daily basis, and pay condolences wherever and what time it is
7. Must enjoy sitting in cafes, coffee shops and restaurants hours on end
8. Must know the name of the town or village he represents
9. Must give atleast one speech at a demonstration wherever, whenever and whatever its about
10. Must know how to hum the Lebanese national anthem, well atleast the chorus part
11. Must be able to forge alliances and drop them overnight
12. Must be able to get his name on a list prior to election time, at whatever price.
13. Must be able to provide his hometown at least one truck load of asphalt prior to election time
14. Must be able to contradict what he says so noone will know what the hell hes talking about
15. Must be prepared to wear scarfs, or pins, or pj's when the time calls for it.